Friday, May 30, 2008
Dear Dr. Laura
Sent: April 17, 2008Dr. Laura Schlessinger
P.O. Box 8120
Van Nuys, CA 91409
Dear Dr. Schlessinger,
Did you ever see the episode of West Wing where you were lampooned? I kind of think that was unfair, since I know you would have stood up when the President entered the room, right?
I saw the naked pictures of you on the internet. There are some things a man wishes he could just unsee! I didn't have even one impure thought. It was worse than the time I watched the "2 Girls 1 Cup" video. Have you ever seen that? It's disgusting.
Speaking of photos...can I get an autographed one? I prefer one where your clothes are on, but that's really up to you.
I listen to your show, but think you are evil. Whenever I find myself agreeing with you I have to reexamine my beliefs. Thankfully this doesn't happen too often.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
No response as of 7/5/08.
My reaction:
And again, no, I did not expect a response, but again, this was damn cathartic. I needed to do something after seeing the photos!
Please write Dr. Laura, let her know you think she’s a hack, and you too want an apology for being subjected to those pictures! Her address is above, her fax number is on her website. I think she has a website.
I’ve never seen “2 Girls 1 Cup,” but I’ve heard about it and have no desire to see it. You really don’t want to either. I did see one/some/all of the naked photos of Dr. Laura, but like Justice Potter Stewart, I know pornography when I see it, and sorry baby, but that’s not pornography. I’d watch a forced loop of “2 Girls 1 Cup,” for 3 hours before I’d ever again willingly look at Dr. Laura’s dense foliage. You’d need a machete to go in there (and a crazy sick fetish for saggy talentless hacks).
I do think the Dr. Laura Show is an evil scam preying of the desperate, and I do reexamine by beliefs whenever I find myself in agreement with her. And sadly, I do occasionally listen (it’s a sickness).
Isn’t freedom of speech wonderful? Oh, and a few of my more obvious libel defenses:
- Dr. Laura is a public figure.
- The above statements are true (go see for your own damn self).
- Parody
- This is my opinion (read up on: “fair comment and criticism")
My lawyer says there are more defenses, which is why I pay him! I still think, “She’s a Hate Mongering Bitch,” is a valid one, but in this case, I guess my lawyer and I will just have to agree to disagree. Oh, he does agree she’s a “Hate Mongering Bitch” (even as a proper noun), he just says this isn’t a defense against libel, but rather just makes her a hypocrite. I guess for some unfathomable reason she’s allowed freedom of speech too, which is plain silly, since she’s a perfect example of of what happens when you give people like her a soap box. They’ll say anything.
Dr. Laura, too bad you didn’t think a bit ahead when you had those snatch shots taken, but now that you’re old, bet you’re glad you have them around to remind you there was a time, like back in the Paleozoic, when you weren’t all withered, dry, and wrinkled.
Website:noletternolink.com
Posted by cjorgensen on 05/30 at 07:00 AM
No Response • Talentless Hacks •
