Thursday, January 08, 2009
Dear Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al-Maktoum
Sent: May 14, 2008Mohammed bin Rashid Al-Maktoum
Dubai Crown Prince
P.O. Box 12848
Dubai, UAE
Dear Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al-Maktoum,
You're probably not aware of this, but your country is really not that popular in the United States of America! I think this is a shame and think you guys really got the shaft on that whole Dubai ports deal.
Anyway, I am writing to offer my services. For a little cash I will speak positively about your country whenever I hear it come up in conversation, and I will defend your reputation against idiots who have bad things to say about Dubai! My loyalty can be bought, Sir! I'll be a complete shill for the paltry sum of $6 million USD. I figure this is little more than the cost of two good camels, so seems like a steal to me.
My salary is entirely negotiable, but for the above amount I will perform any reasonable task requested of me for the rest of my life (and maybe even one or two unreasonable things). I, of course, will be the sole judge of what is reasonable, but I am sure you will be happy with my service.
If you come through for me, I will, every week for as long as I am alive (and there is an internet) post a thank you note on my blog at: http://christopher.jorgensen.name
Oh, and if $6 million USD is too much to ask, can you at least send me whatever you think is fair and an autographed photograph? Let me know!
Thanks,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
No response as of 1/8/09.
My reaction:
So do you think I asked for too much? I mean this guy did did shell out a tidy sum for a camel. I thought my services would be a steal! Dubai’s Prince Buys $2.7 Million Camel. I guess maybe I should have rounded down instead of up. Maybe I could have gotten the job for a mere $5 million.
I’ve been looking into camel breeding every since I read about this, but they don’t seem to do well in the Iowa winters, I can’t seem to line up any investors, and I am unsure what the city codes are for keeping one of these in the city limits. Oh well, so much for my get rich quick scheme. Damn! But on the bright side I can continue to say negative things about the UAE, even if I did once have a princess from there offer me a piece of fruit. I declined, but did take a slice of pizza (This is a true story. Would I make something like that up!).
Website:noletternolink.com
Posted by cjorgensen on 01/08 at 06:00 AM
Individual • No Response • Political •
