Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Dear PetSmart
Sent: June 23, 2008Pet Smart
19601 N 27th Avenue
Phoenix AZ 85027
(623) 580-6100
Dear Pet Smart,
I was hoping you could suggest a new pet for me. I am wanting something cute and cuddly (preferably furry). I am concerned with lifespan though. It says online hamsters live for an average of two years. This seems a little too long to me. I know I could "help it along," but this seems wrong.
Is there anything like a hamster that lives around six months (I am commitment phobic). I was thinking of something like a puppy, but less tasty, and a bit smaller.
Thanks for any help you can give!
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
p.s. I see on your website that you have saved three million, three hundred thirty-six thousand, nine hundred forty-three lives. That's a lot of people! You guys should get a medal!
Reply Dated: June 27, 2008
Dear Christopher,
Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at PetSmart.
At this time I would recommend that you speak with the Manager on Duty of the store nearest you. The Manager on Duty will be able to answer any questions you may have.
To Find your local PetSmart store please seek the PetSmart store locator found on www.petsmart.com.
I hope this information will assist you and thank you for choosing PetSmart.
Sincerely,
Amanda
My reaction:
“Shop smart, shop S-Mart!” Ash, Army of Darkness.
I guess “Manager on Duty” really is a proper noun. Now, I don’t want to dig on anyone’s life-choices here, but if you ever find yourself the Manager on Duty of a PetSmart, and someone comes in asking for a short lived pet less tasty than a puppy, you really need to question the decisions that brought you to such a place.
If there was an award for passing the buck Amanda would be a contender. How hard can it be to point someone to a resource listing the average lifespan of various animals? And believe it or not, this really is a valid question. Stupid people buy things like African Grey Parrots and act like it’s their gog-given right to walk around with a bird sitting and shitting on their shoulders that will well outlive their terminal stupidity.
And for a letter that was actually short enough for my lazy ass to type, well, they sure did manage to work in the name of their company quite a bit! And then there’s the usual bitches: Unsigned, we’re on a first name basis, and my damn question was completely ignored. Why even bother writing? Maybe Amanda was lonely. I will give them credit for being fast!
I, and the girlfriend/typist/editor, both found the use of the work “seek” in the above response to be a bit odd. I think Amanda is a frustrated and thwarted former English major. And why not give the URL to the page in question? You know, to save me from having to do any seeking. http://stores.petsmart.com/petsmart/ There you go, even turned it into one of them hyperlinky things for you.
Mat 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
And before you think me heartless and cruel, I do have a cat that I’ve somehow managed to keep alive for the past 2 or 3 years. Ah, hell, go ahead and think me heartless and cruel.
Website:
Posted by cjorgensen on 07/08 at 06:00 AM
Company • Retail •
