Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Dear Pope
Sent: April 15, 2008His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI
Vaticano City
Italy
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI,
Any way I could get an autographed photo?
You should consider bringing back the sale of indulgences. This could be a real money maker for for The Catholic Church! I'm thinking only for venial sins, but that's really your call.
This might help offset some of the financial losses due to the ongoing sex abuse scandals in the United States and elsewhere. Think about it.
I am enclosing one United States Dollar for the impure thoughts I constantly have. I doubt if this is enough money for them all, but it's the gesture that counts, right?
Thanks,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
p.s. I heard that muslims now outnumber catholics. Does the Vatican have a plan to encourage more catholic women to have more babies? Perhaps it is time to allow priests and nuns to get married (not to each other of course, that would obviously be wrong).
enc: $1
Reply Dated: May 27, 2008
Apostolic Nunciature
3339 Massachusetts Ave., N.W.
Washington, DC 20008
U.S.A.
No other response.
My reaction:
I really sent the above letter. To Italy. To the Vatican. By Air Mail. I did. I am going to hell.
I write a lot of letters I don’t expect a response to. These are the gems to me. The ones that arrive against all expectations. Quickly, name two other people you know who got a letter from the Pope this week! Yes, I know it wasn’t really a letter, just a photo with a stamped signature and it didn’t even come from Italy, I know the Pope didn’t read my letter, and wasn’t even told about it, but some small part of me likes to imagine there is a bald bureaucratic monk somewhere with a spreadsheet marking down the things people are concerned about. Pretty much just like when you write your Congressmen and Senators about issues bothering you.
Now I have the photo, of course, I want more. I am just upset he didn’t send along a letter answering my questions! I guess the Pope just doesn’t have an opinion on my impure thoughts, and you know, that’s the way it should be!
Originally I was going to ask if the Pope did shit in the woods, but every third grader knows he does. I did send the dollar. It was only worth $0.60 anyway. The Pope kept it. I’m not sure what he has going on with his signature—what the heck are those things humping the “V”?—but I am the last person who should be criticizing another person’s signature.
Website:
Posted by cjorgensen on 06/04 at 06:00 AM
Individual • No Response • Religious •
