Monday, August 25, 2008

Dear Ringling Bros.

Sent: May 1, 2008

Ringling Bros.
Customer Relations
8607 Westwood Center Drive
Vienna, VA 22182


Dear Ringling Brothers,

I am interested in becoming a clown. Even my best friends consider me to be a jackass, I don't mind makeup that much, and I do like some kids, so I think it might be a good fit.

My girlfriend insists some men compensate for a lack of equipment (if you know what I mean) by driving large cars like a Ford Mustang or a GM Hummer. I tried to reassure her this is why I drive a 2000 Dodge Neon, but this just scared her.

Anyway, this leaves me with three questions: 1, how many clowns can fit in a 2000 Dodge Neon? 2, what is the average size of a clown's unit? 3, Do I have to send you any kind of picture to prove I can fit in a clown car?

I am just wondering if I should reconsider my career choices.


Thanks,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. If you're interested I can send along a picture of my "resume" (if you know what I mean).


Denied!



No response as of 7/24/08.

My reaction:

Yeah, this is one of my favorite unanswered letters! It makes me nearly cry to not know the answers to these questions. I mean if some men buy lots of big guns, or big vehicles, to make up for the lack of proper equipment, then what does that say about us men who lack guns at all (or sizable cars)? This makes me feel bad for anyone who isn’t a clown! I, of course, sleep well at night knowing I am a clown at heart, don’t really have any guns, and do indeed drive a 2000 Dodge Neon. But then, I also know I am “just the right size” (or so I have been told).

I still think it would be cool to be a clown. No really! It would be cool even if the transportation sucks. It’s bad enough car pooling with one coworker. Imagine eleven in the same car!

Website:

noletternolink.com



Posted by cjorgensen on 08/25 at 06:00 AM
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