http://www.jackassletters.com.com/index.php/more/ Letters to luminaries and companies with their replies! en cjorgensen@mac.com Copyright2010 2010-05-16T23:05:23+00:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/the_shocking_ad_goggle_doesnt_want_you_to_see/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/the_shocking_ad_goggle_doesnt_want_you_to_see/#When:22:05:23Z My twitter avatar was made by Anthony Imperioli after I guest posted over on The Zimp. Somewhere along the line I made a little ad out of it and a few people put it on their sites. I like it. It's cute. It's fun. I decided to make a goggle adwords ad out of it. It's that boring assed ad up there. No tagline. Just the image and my URL. In case you can't read the reason for rejection it's "Inappropriate Image/Video Content." Come on, goggle, it's not a real donkey show! I don't get it. The only thing I could possibly see that could be an issue is the URL, since gasp, it says jackass! If this is the case that's problematic, since it's my fucking URL and they ran that fine as a text ad for the last three months! There's an option to submit a "help" request in adwords, so I submitted one asking why they rejected it. They say they typically get in touch in 24 hours. I'm past 48 hours. I'll be sure to let you know when they finally tell me my answer, since I do realize it's the weekend. This may be the last time I trust goggle with my global letter writing empire! In the meantime, you can put any of these on your site (if you like). Site News 2010-05-16T18:05:23-06:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/stupid_poem/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/stupid_poem/#When:17:27:34Z This poem originally appeared on Writing Roads. It was for a contest where I won nothing, even though I was clearly the best! (Just ask the girlfriend/editor/typist.) It is 100% autobiographical and something that happens quite often. I've been thinking about putting it on the site someplace, but still haven't gotten around to it. I decided to share it here. jackassletters.com She says, “Now don’t get pist, but you’ll be put on a list, or taken away in the night. Your head is just not right!” There is a laugh, then a sigh, and she asks the obvious “Why?” I can offer no more than a stare when asked, “What goes on up there?” We both know my head’s not right, It’s apparent in the letters I write. But I never claimed to have class, I’ve only ever claimed to be a jackass. christopher… 2010-03-23T13:27:34-06:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/things_i_am_thinking_about/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/things_i_am_thinking_about/#When:10:30:17Z Sorry, going to ramble here, which is fine, since no one reads this part of the site, and it's my site anyway! I'd decided that 2010 is the year I have to break even on jackassletters.com. I'm not so much concerned with making a profit, but that would be nice as well. So to this end I've been thinking about how I could go about this, and came up with a few ideas. Very few, but here they are:Plaster the site with ads. Offer ad free memberships for a fee. Amazon Kindle eBook of all unanswered letters I've sent. Apple iPad eBook of all unanswered letters I've sent. Apple iPad eBook of all the letters on this site and more (with no commentary).I don't want to come off as money grubbing, but put it this way, sometimes letters don't go out because I can't afford to send any. Like I said, I'd be happy with break even for 2010. There are things I like about each of the ideas above and things I hate about each. To do ads well would require a redesign, and there's a few flaws here. 1.) I doubt the ads would make me much cash. 2.) I doubt if enough people would sign up for memberships to make it worth doing all the work of essentially making two sites (logged in without ads, and logged out with), and having to deal with people that now think I am somehow in debt to them. 3.) I don't want to do ads for the primary reason of forcing people to pay me not to see them. This feels sort of like blackmail to me. I've had ads on the site before. They were distracting and ugly and a lot of times promoted an agenda or product I didn't want to be associated with. They also made me way too little money (a few pennies a day). I know most sites let you manage what ads appear, but again, not worth it for pennies. I've been thinking about the Kindle book for some time. It seems like a shame to me that I have hundreds of letters that no one but the girlfriend/editor/typist has seen. There's some good stuff in some of those letters. There's also a lot of shit that I am surprised hasn't landed me in jail! This seems like a decent way to promote the site and to allow people to show support. The idea of putting all the letters on this site into a book came from David Thorne's "The Internet is a Playground." I don't want to do print though, and I'd have never considered this before the idea of the iPad. I am pretty sure the graphics would suck on a Kindle. Maybe it could be designed to not matter, since all the graphic really does is prove I got a reply. I don't want to be jumping on the as-of-yet-invisible iPad bandwagon, but really, this is the first time I have been able to imagine this would work. I don't like this idea, because I'm making people pay for content that can readily be found here. And if I put in some unpublished letters I am depriving all three of the fans of this site. I do like the idea of omitting the commentary and letting the letters stand on their own. Maybe it would be an entirely different market. For various reasons I can't think of many other ways for the site to make money. I don't see merchandising working, since even I wouldn't want a Jackass Letters t-shirt, and direct donations haven't even come close to making a difference. In less than 4 months this site will be 2 years old. It's somewhat like John Edward's latest baby. It's time for it to learn to fly! About the only other choice I have is to shutter the project. Close comments, put the front page on random, turn out the lights and walk away. This site expires: April 28, 2010. I'll for sure be renewing it for a year, but after that...who knows? Maybe I'll be able to move on to the other projects I never seem to have time for. If you have an idea for revenue feel free to leave a comment. I'm pretty much willing to consider anything at this point. Meanderings 2010-02-10T06:30:17-06:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/removing_the_bandages/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/removing_the_bandages/#When:20:19:28Z Here's the deal. I got to take off my bandages today! That tube coming out of my head that's real. That's real blood as well. I'm not sure why anyone would want to see me take my bandages off, but you can: Kind of gross, huh? As always, positive thoughts, prayers, and large amounts of cash are always welcome. Or just send a check in the mail (if you'd rather support the USP than PayPal) to this address: Christopher L. Jorgensen P.O. Box 93042 Des Moines, IA 50393 christopher.... 2009-11-12T16:19:28-06:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/tumor/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/tumor/#When:11:00:58Z [Update: All went well.] I'm going in for a procedure at Mary Greeley Medical Center tomorrow at 11:30 to have a multi-cell benign tumor removed from the right side of my neck (right behind the ear). You can see it in the two videos below. These videos are like a mirror so the left side is actually where you should look. I also tried to isolate the frame so you can see it without playing the clip. It's that with egg-shaped thing. My surgeon is Dr. Reason Ford. Hey, I didn't name him, and I didn't shave him, but since he'll be cutting into my head I need to keep the making fun of him to a minimum. Anyway, I thought you might like to know why I probably won't be updating for a while. Kind of gross, huh? Positive thoughts, prayers, and large amounts of cash are always welcome. Or just send a check in the mail (if you'd rather support the USP than PayPal) to this address: Christopher L. Jorgensen P.O. Box 93042 Des Moines, IA 50393 christopher.... 2009-11-09T07:00:58-06:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/dear_digiflight.com/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/dear_digiflight.com/#When:14:12:08Z I never do this, but I am going to share a letter I sent today. If either Bill Crosby or Stanford Oliver have google alerts set up on their names (or the names of their companies) they will know this letter is on it's way. This is why I never print a letter until I have a response (or have given up on one). So why am I doing it this time? Because I have a particular hate reserved for the Twitter Traffic Machine (so much so that I refuse to link to it or Bill Crosby). I block every idiot who sends me a link to his site, or who even mentions @billcrosby in a positive way. I will, however, link to digiflight.com and Stanford Oliver. I would have preferred to write the Attorney General in whatever state Twitter Traffic Machine resides in, but I couldn't figure this out using a standard whois search. Honestly, I am no lawyer, and I have no idea if Bill Crosby is breaking any laws. I would tend to think he isn't, since I am guessing if so twitter would have shut down his account by now. What I do know is I find this man and his whole "system" to be fucking annoying and unethical. I know I am not the only one. Christopher L. Jorgensen P.O. Box 93042 Des Moines, IA 50393 July 1, 2009 Stanford Oliver 45155 Research Place, Suite 210
Ashburn, VA 20147 Dear Stanford Oliver, I've always been taught that if something "looks too good to be true it most likely is," which is why I am writing (I'll get to this point in a bit). I am unsure if you are familiar with the social networking service "twitter" and how it works, but regardless, I want to bring to your attention something called the "Twitter Traffic Machine" (located unsurprisingly at http://www.twittertrafficmachine.com). This "service" is a scourge on twitter. The mastermind behind this system is a man named William (Bill) Crosby. While the contact information for this site is not readily available, the contact for his personal site http://www.billcrosby.com is listed as: Crosby, William bill@digiflight.com 222 E Del Ray Ave Alexandria, Virginia 22301-1326 United States 703-966-9576 Fax -- 703-519-1617 I have no idea if he is an employee of yours, but you will notice he is using a digiflight.com email address. Now, I am making no judgements as to the site itself, but I will say it looks too good to be true (and is annoying as hell). Legions of his "followers" send this site out to unexpecting recipients every day. Any association, no mater how tangental, makes your company look bad, and by extension you personally. So I am writing to implore you, please, make him stop! At a minimum, you will want the digiflight.com address removed. Thanks for your consideration. Sincerely, [signed] Christopher L. Jorgensen I never got to finish this blog post. I wanted to break down why I hate this guy and his system. I wanted to include screenshots of his video, and tell you why it's a total scam in my opinion. I will be ecstatic if I was the reason for his account suspension, but I doubt it. Meanderings 2009-08-02T10:12:08-06:00 http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/failure_in_customer_service_social_media/ http://www.jackassletters.com/index.php/more/failure_in_customer_service_social_media/#When:23:02:20Z @instyledecor [update: account is currently "protected."] If you don't use twitter this post won't make much sense. To put it in a nutshell though, Instyle Décor sent out a slew of @replies on twitter. @jackassletters was included on one of these. So I checked out the person sending it. I do this for everyone that mentions me or follows me. What I saw was screen after screen of this: If you follow me you know how much I hate spammers, so I fired off an email to the Customer Service link at the bottom of their site, using my personal email address [], to let them know either someone was impersonating them, or they were engaging in despicable behavior. The replies I got back were.... Stupefying is a great word, and one I don't get to use nearly enough, but this email exchange is stupefying. To be clear, this is the exchange in its entirety. Nothing has been edited or added. It was not intended as a jackass letter. I do not use email for this. All correspondence intended for the main part of this site occurs through the postal service. I do not consider the reproduction of email to be ethical without permission. Yeah, it might be hypocritical, but I consider regular mail to be an extension of a company's branding. Email is a different animal. Regardless, I did warn that further communication would result in this exchange appearing here, so permission was granted as far as I am concerned. From: Christopher Jorgensen Subject: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:14:07 PM CDT To: customerservice@instyle-decor.com I have reported the account: http://twitter.com/instyledecor to twitter admin. It makes your company look bad. This is unethical use of the twitter service, and if is sanctioned is evil. From: Instyle Decor Subject: Re: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:18:50 PM CDT To: Christopher Jorgensen please explain this strange email> Ashley Really? It was unclear? The proper response should have been, "Thanks for letting us know about this! We're looking into it and will let you know when it's corrected." But admittedly, I was a bit sparse on the details, so I wrote back. From: Christopher Jorgensen Subject: Re: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:23:07 PM CDT To: ashley@instyle-decor.com Go to the url on twitter. @replying people with no content is considered unethical. Either someone is falsely using your account, or this is an intentional tactic. It is considered spam. I am guessing the account will be suspended. It makes your company look bad, and if someone there is doing this on purpose they should be reprimanded or fired. From: Instyle Decor Subject: Re: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:27:22 PM CDT To: Christopher Jorgensen I have just checked our twitter account and it appears there is a system error with over 7,000 follow me sent from our account over the fast few hours. If you are alleging we have sat at one of our computers a done this we take serious offence, and frankly 7,000 follow mes would take weeks. Before you issue nasty evil emails and threat people, you would be wise to learn more about IT AshleyFrom: Instyle Decor Subject: Re: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:40:37 PM CDT To: Christopher Jorgensen something strange has happened obviously but it has been report [editor's note: the above was the entirety of this email] First off, what the fuck is a "follow me"? Seriously, I've been using twitter for a lot longer than this person, and this is the first I've heard of such a thing. Ashley, you're doing it wrong. And who in the fuck is Ashley? I wrote Customer Service. Without identifying herself in her reply I have no idea who I am talking to. I still don't. Is this a customer service rep, the owner, or someone who works in custodial? I included the email I sent. Please point out where I "threat" anyone. 8,000 twitter users were subjected to this. 8,000! And when one of these people, namely me, contacts them I'm insulted? Insufferable is also another good word I don't get to use enough. I am pretty sure I can pit my IT skills against Ashley's and not come out behind. At least I can construct a coherent sentence, but hey, rather than addressing the issue of you looking like an idiot on a social media site you'd rather get your digs in, great. From: Christopher Jorgensen Subject: Re: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:47:20 PM CDT To: ashley@instyle-decor.com So rather than apologizing for the error, and saying you'll correct it, this is your defense? I think you need to check out what email address I sent my original email to. You need to read up on what "Customer Service" means. Take all the offense you want, Ashley. I never threatened anyone. I stated facts: I reported the account to twitter. Behavior like this is considered unethical. It makes your company look bad. It's my opinion that the person responsible should be reprimanded or fired. I don't even think my email was nasty, but hey, if you think so feel free to be offended. I don't care how these messages were posted, why they were posted, or what your company was hoping to accomplish by doing so in this manner. Either it is malice or gross incompetence, either way you lose. Your customer service sucks. Christopher p.s. replying to this message constitutes permission to reproduce this entire email chain on my blog. From: Instyle Decor Subject: Re: twitter Date: June 15, 2009 03:55:28 PM CDT To: Christopher Jorgensen no it just appeared to be a freaky email and we get a few being NY Girls So sorry for being off, I thought you may have been one of those crazy people Ash Thank you for replying. And thanks for trusting me with your brand. My email was freaky? Really? After all this, that's what I get for an apology, that by letting you know that you're a clueless twit I might be crazy? What about the other 7,999 people? As of yet there has been no apology on twitter. Dear Ashley's last two tweets: thats 8,000 messages when it should not have we tried to report it but how do we contact twitter support can anyone help thanks x about 1 hour ago from web Hello, just wanted to let you know we had a glitch on our account and it sent out 8,000 in the past few hours we think its fixed now XX about 1 hour ago from web Now, reading between the lines I am sure this company is using trying to use some kind of auto-following, auto-posting, spammy software that they don't know how to use. I could be wrong, I'm no IT expert, but this would be my guess as to what is going on. It's also of no concern of twitter's. Why should the fact that you don't know how to properly use their service be anything they should care about? This aside, I find it funny that Ashley has no idea how to contact support. She's clueless. This is apparent. And not to call her a liar or anything, but her tweet to me was 17 hours ago, so think this constitutes a bit more than "the past few hours." [update: I went back through their timeline and this behavior goes back clear until the 10th! So I feel comfortable calling her a liar at this point.] I really hope twitter does suspend the account. They should. I'll be sure to update people if/when they do. My last vocabulary word is egregious. Look it up, Ashley. christopher.... p.s. the shit on their site is overpriced and ugly in my opinion, but I'm also no interior designer. Meanderings 2009-06-15T19:02:20-06:00